Saturday, July 11, 2009

You're skinny! Oh, wait, no you're not.

I'm so pissed at today, and at yesterday. You can tell, I've been avoiding updating. Last night, I binged a little but literally forced myself to bed. Today, I wanted to fast but Mom was hawk-eye-ing me, so I had some oatmeal... then just kept going.

Then, I went to the gym because I felt so bad. It was so busy. Ended up doing bike/rowing/running cardio while I was waiting for the elliptical, but those really really killed me for some reason (probably cause I haven't done it in a long time). Feeling like crap, I left after burning only 300.

Went to a movie and mall - talk about social anxiety attacks.

But, here's the kicker of the day. I was chilling until the movie with a friend and I made a comment about not wanting a donut for the fat... he reached over and said, "Oh, you silly girl - you need some meat on your bones, you're so skinny." in the same breath, continued while pinching my arm, "Oh - no you're not. You have some muscle."

BULL SHIT.

I walked 45mins home.

Fast and exercise tomorrow. Hate myself so much right now. I want to give up, and - honestly - eat. I'm an emotional binge eater. I know that. This is the only thing keeping me from binging.

P.S: Most of us use online calculators to calculate calories burned etc, what do you use?

2 comments:

K said...

Don't give up! All of us mess up from time to time (god, I do it every single week) and you'll make up for it tomorrow :)

Personally, I don't like using the online calculators to figure out how many calories I've burned. I always feel so paranoid about it, like I've grossly over-estimated what I've burned. I just say that my RMR is 1000 cals/day since I'm short and there's no way that I burn like 1500 in a day without doing anything. And then I have my treadmill that tells me how many calories I burn from running on it.

Good luck on the fasting, you can do it! <3

Dot said...

Please don't beat yourself up too much about bingeing. Just think of all the weight your going to lose from fasting : D
I use caloriesperhour.com I actually think it's pretty accurate. I've tried a bunch of different ones, but this one seems really good. And it has the biggest activity list I've ever seen to choose from. I usually chop off 100-200 cal of what it tell me just to be safe though.
Stay strong and good luck! <3

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