Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Anxiety Attack

I went to bed at midnight yesterday, and stared at the ceiling for an hour thinking. My heart started to race, I got cold and clammy and dizzy. I was thinking about university, about my academic and volunteer goals to get scholarships, about residence, about weight, about people (immature assholes, to be specific... thanks for the love guys, I totally agreed with you all!), my weight, celebs/models.

It has been... well, I guess about a month now since my last real real anxiety attack where I couldn't just mediated and let it wash over. I had to get up and research universities, look at pics, email around, think, draw up some poster designs. I ended up passing out around 4am, woke up at 9 and have been scared to get out of bed, even though I have so so much to do which is making the anxiety creep back - my heart is still racing.

On the bright side, I might fall asleep on the flight tonight... I've been running on low-sleep and low-food all week.

Did you know Mariah Carey is 140ilbs at 5'9"? I wish I could feel good about that.

3 comments:

Yum said...

Do you take anything for anxiety attacks? A friend of mine gets them, and he was prescribed something.

Man, Mariah Carey makes me feel fat. I'm only 5'5" and I weigh more than her. Ugh.

Dot said...

I'm with Yum, Mariah Carey makes me feel fat too! hahaha! But you shouldn't feel bad about not being comfortable at her weight because everyone has their own magic weight they are comfortable with and 140 just isn't for you ; )
Anxiety attacks...sigh. Have you tried taking hot epsom salt baths? I do this and they help a bit. The body actually absorbs the magnesium through your skin, and it makes you calm and helps with sleep.
Have a safe trip tonight! Stay strong <3

Kevin Atteridg said...

Well, I hope you have a good flight and trip either way, no matter what stresses or worries may be there.

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