You're skinny! Oh, wait, no you're not.

I'm so pissed at today, and at yesterday. You can tell, I've been avoiding updating. Last night, I binged a little but literally forced myself to bed. Today, I wanted to fast but Mom was hawk-eye-ing me, so I had some oatmeal... then just kept going.

Then, I went to the gym because I felt so bad. It was so busy. Ended up doing bike/rowing/running cardio while I was waiting for the elliptical, but those really really killed me for some reason (probably cause I haven't done it in a long time). Feeling like crap, I left after burning only 300.

Went to a movie and mall - talk about social anxiety attacks.

But, here's the kicker of the day. I was chilling until the movie with a friend and I made a comment about not wanting a donut for the fat... he reached over and said, "Oh, you silly girl - you need some meat on your bones, you're so skinny." in the same breath, continued while pinching my arm, "Oh - no you're not. You have some muscle."

BULL SHIT.

I walked 45mins home.

Fast and exercise tomorrow. Hate myself so much right now. I want to give up, and - honestly - eat. I'm an emotional binge eater. I know that. This is the only thing keeping me from binging.

P.S: Most of us use online calculators to calculate calories burned etc, what do you use?