After a long shower and a rare indulgence of baby oil, I feel a little bit better. Today was hard because I made it hard. Universities are screwing with my head. My binging impulse is screwing with my stomach and metabolism. The fact that I can't focus long enough on studying for my oh-so-important diploma's is grating. All the way, I'm beginning to realize that I make life difficult for myself. And that I can't stop.
I think I might be PMSing too, which never helps.
I don't have much to say tonight. Hopefully tomorrow will get along better - I am forcing myself to go to a group study session, which means I will actually focus. Which is always good. Maybe I can fix this weekend tomorrow... this week. I feel so gross and bloated from... three or four days of binging. Blarg.
Today's picture is nostalgic. This was my grad 9 "graduation" dress. Besides being about 4inches too short, it still "fits". By "fits" I mean it's a size 5/6. It's far, far too big around the bust /waist. Like, so big it was slouching in the back. It makes me wonder if it ever fit - I don't think it did. Makes me wonder if I was always so concerned with my stomach and my thighs and how big they looked... so I bought a dress a size or two (or 4) too big. I just remember feeling wonderful in that dress.
1 comments:
You look lovely in the picture, sweetie. I'm sure you'll get back on track soon.
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