Wednesday, December 2, 2009

White Tea is Orange

This is going to be a quickie.

I'm still feeling as I was - lighter, a little happier (dare I say) and focused. Unfortunately, my eatting is still above what it should even healthily be. I'm scared to grasp it again. I'm scared to force it under that precious 1000cal line.

At the same time, I know that I have only 2weeks to wait before I can tighten the corset again. I feel weak for compromising, but at this point, it's either starve and fail or fail and eat. Or, the chocie I'm going with for now - exceed and binge. Once my marks go down, all hell brakes lose. I know that. Without my marks and commitments, I feel even more worthless.

Anyways. I might be assistant directing my school's musical next semester. I'm... excited.

Emotions.

God, it's weird to have them again.

Also, not only is my title to this post real... in that I just made some white-tangerine tea that is, for some marvelous reason orange, but it's also metaphorical. White tea, boring bland, is now gaining colour.

Yes, I'm a tool like that. <333

2 comments:

foreignobject said...

You made me smile today. Thank you for that.

Ana's Girl said...

I loved the title even before you explained it, but now that i read the explanation, i love it even more! Emotions are good, i promise. Love love love. Stay happy-ish, and get happy if you can.

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