Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Heart's Pounding

I know I've been gone for a while, and I'm sorry.
Long story short, I'm a fuck up.
Actual, legitimate, cold-hearted failure.

This week has been shit.
Yesterday was the first day in nearly a week I experienced actual emotion. Yesterday, and right now. Yesterday, it was joy. Right now it's hate. I hate.

Off to the lake... off to see friends who don't know me... off to be someone I'm not. I can't even... think. If I could feel the pain I should feel right now, I would want it to stop. But I don't feel.

Sub-human.
Worthless.

3 comments:

Ana's Girl said...

You're not worthless , dearie.

Dot said...

I'm so glad you're back! : D I always miss your blog when you're gone!
You are not worthless darling <3 You are intelligent, fun, witty, and beautiful. Please don't be so hard on yourself, I'm sure you'll get back on track <3

Yum said...

Ana gives us such isolation from our emotions, we're surprised when they burst again. I think we all wonder which is better: the pure silence of Ana, or taking the pleasure with the pain in life.

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