Monday, November 16, 2009

Hey, sorry for the absence.

A few things happened on Friday that led to my not-posting over the weekend. Firstly, rehearsal was a gong show - there is so much drama and hate and anger floating around. Couples breaking up, couples cheating, bitch fights, rumours, director-hate, lack of optimisim and general anger with everyone else. Of course, this is what I love about drama - I don't have TIME or ENERGY to sulk about my own issues! I have to stop bitch one from killing bitch two when they're supposed to be on stage! :)

Anyways, post rehearsal I walked to work with C. who was obviously a little sad but he didn't want to talk about it so we just chatted about random things. I love spending time and reminiscing with him (and no, I do not have a thing for him. We're just bffs... and he's gay). So, 4hrs of work was actually really nice. Not because it wasn't busy (it was) or because I was too busy (I was) or because managers weren't on a hissy fit (they were), but because I felt like I finally fit in with the other employees.

We were chatting and making hangout, talking about random things, making jokes, finding stickers... all while being productive. I have pretty much felt like an outsider until now. Don't know why exactly... I mesh better with older people usually. But, finally, I felt like I could mesh with my peers. It was nice.

Then, during clean up, I was talking to the guy who's been consta-flirting with me at work but hasn't acted on it and I asked him how it was goin'. Instead of being negative or whining (like me) he just said, "I'm trying to smile more." Awww.

He got me thinking about just TRYING to be happy instead of waiting for a reason to be happy to come along. In that chipper mood, I got home, carpet was done and nice, I rearanged my room, burnt some insense and worked. I worked on homework for 6hrs. Happily. Willingly. It was SO weird.

Saturday was much the same at work and home.

Sunday was my rest/ be a little productive day.

Now, it's OK. It's going OK, rather. I still don't have a reason to be genuinely smiling or not stressed or not freaking out about my weight (holy mother of god, I'm still holding 145 even though I've been eatting like a pig. Granted, its all blubbah - my legs are freakin' MASSIVE). But, for some reason, I'm not.

"Just trying to smile more." Damn him. He has no idea.

Hope all is well. Sorry for lack of pictures. D=


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