Haze

Hey guys,

So, sorry I haven't been updating. I've been... avoiding the computer. I don't know why, but I've just been coming home, turning off my ipod, my cellphone and lazing in front of the tv or walking. Exciting right? I'm trying to re-enter the world of the living, so bear with me.

Anyways, fasting yesterday failed. Not because I lost control but because my body decided to hate me. I swear to god, once it hit lunch time (I can skip breakfast easy peasy) my body went: "WTF BITCH FEED ME RAWR" and I experienced... like menstrual cramps, but 1000x worse and through my entire torso. I don't EVER react in public to physical pain. I was almost crying. Anyways, after a struggled-through meeting I went home and contemplated, had a hot shower, downed advil then decided, you know what, obviously this isn't right right now. So, c'est la vie, I'll try again soon.

Yesterday was also bad simply because it was, you know, first day back after a long weekend. I was totally in a haze and all the sudden everything seemed to be due and new and entirely incomprehensible.

I did, however, have a good day today. Ironically enough, it started off being so good because it was a rare foggy day (weather wise)! I love fog. Anyways. Eating was normal, I was feeling faint and dizzy in Social right before lunch and decided I'd buy a turkey wrap (ate only half) to keep the blood sugar pumping. On the plus side, I made this massive pot of low cal turkey veggie soup that I will sustain myself on for at least tomorrow - YAY! Haven't weighed today, I woke up late and had to rush out.

Um... what else? OH, cute boy at work asked me to "chill" this weekend. We're not sure what that means, but... eh. I don't know him really, but he seems nice and interesting... and he's pretty. I think one of the things he's said to me, one of the things I really remember, is we were talking about celebs and their obsession with plastic surgery and diet (LOL, awkward much) and he just looked at me and said, "No one is perfect, right? It's boring if they are."

So... we can see where my inner conflict with him is. We'll just see I guess.... exciting though. I have to stop myself from expecting too much though...

OH - in other actually related news - 3times a year my parents do the Wild Rose Herbal Cleanse and I've gone along with them as support (cheating often, but SH). Thier post-Thanksgiving one is starting soon and I'm old enough, not only to take the pills/meds, but to have the will power to stick to the diet... This might be what I need to get in control again. Not to mention the fact that my parents will be approving... I won't have to pop pills behind their backs or scrape the potato of my plate while they aren't looking or chew-and-spit pizza. Kind of excited, apparently because the meds act as natural diuretics/lazatives (that's the CLEANSE part) there is virtually no way to not lose weight. It's a two week program.

Stoked.

For all the wrong reasons D=

[EDIT] I just realised how often I switched between "I" and "we" this post... developing multiple personality disorder maybe? Fun. Oi.